Fights...

Do you fight fair? Of course you don’t. The reason I know you don’t fight fair is because I don’t fight fair. And if I, being far more spiritual than you, don’t fight fair, than you surely don’t fight fair (that was my sarcastic moment).

Who ever came up with this idea of fighting fair anyway? It kinda sounds counter intuitive. Like, go and make sure you “kill nicely”, or “brag humbly”. When I fight, I want to be unfair, or ruthless. I want to do what it takes to win. Just the idea that my fight should be restricted by some adjective like fair, that will probably cause me to loose the fight, kinda makes me not want to fight at all. After all, what good is fighting if you don’t win?

But what if winning a fight has nothing to do with being a winner? Honestly, I know a lot of people who are really good at proving a point but are really unsafe, even resented. People who allways win fights are the kind of people that everybody at work secretly whispers in contempt about when they leave a room. You might even know a person like this- There the kind of people everybody puts on a good face for in person, but when they are not in the room, they are resented, even reviled.

Whether or not you typically win a fight, or loose one, the object of fighting is not to win. The point of a fight is to hear. And when or goal is to hear, we love people better. And more than being right, I think our souls long to be loved and love well.

George Macdonald, the author, poet, and Christian Minister said, “And do not our souls themselves cry out for a nobler, better, more beautiful life?” Maybe today is the day we start loosing more fights, but start winning more friends.

-Mike Lefevre