Saturday, March 17, 2007

the quest for community

I just got on-line banking. I know, you must be thinking 'you are just now getting on-line banking?? where have you been? you paelentalogical, archaic fossil.. I bet you still listen to cassette tapes!' (and you'd be right).
Anyway, as I've been enjoying the thrills of tracking exactly where it is that Chrissy has been abusing our debit card, I've actually found myself somewhat mourning the fact that I no longer need to interact with human beings to meet my banking needs. I've had to say goodbye to my favorite teller at my preferred Bank of America branch.
On-line banking has given me convenience, but has cost me relationship.
The same is true for so many other aspects of our society. I pay-at-the pump when I buy gas, happily circumventing the gas station attendent. I buy most of my stuff on-line saving me the hassle of being around people at the mall.
I use the self check-out line at the grocery store. I read other blogs to get the opinions of those I'm interested in hearing from. Heck, I even buy gift cards for gifts these days... see, now I don't even need to bother knowing you well enough to find out what you really like and don't like, do it yourself!!

Maybe I'm going overboard here, but the on-line happy, entertainment-addicted, consumption-oriented, full-throttle paced suburbanite culture that I'm part of seems to be steadily losing its ability to enjoy meaningful relationships and community, and yet is, at the same time, starving for it.
I myself often feel that I have more contacts than real relationships and have more appointments than shared experiences with dear friends. What gives? How do we bridge this gap?
A couple of thoughts... which are by no means comprehensive..
1.) Know why we long for community:
Because of creation. We long for community because we were created by a community (check out the pronoun usage in Gen. 1.26). A Father, Son, and Holy Spirit created you.. a 'we' created a 'you' and you are not complete until you find other 'yous'.
2.) Know why we struggle with community:
In addition to the obvious cultural shifts and struggles I wrote about above, there is also the inclination within our hearts to cover up, cover over, and to hide our true selves from others. This is a hangover from the fall of mankind into sin. When sin entered the world, the first responce of Adam and Eve was to cover themselves.. (see Gen. 3). We are no different. We fear being found out and exposed and rejected as unlovely.
3.) Know where freedom is found:
In the Gospel we learn that God made a way for us to experience both reconcillation and restored relationship with Him as well as the possiblity of true community with other Christians in the church. The way of the world is to live by the 'pecking order' (a barnyard term expressing the relational patterns of chickens!). We tend to build our identities around what we have, how we look, how smart we are, who we know, or some combination of the above. This neatly puts us into cliques, social strata, clubs, and castes. It divides us. The cross does away with the assumptions that this system is founded upon. It exposes all of mankind as hopelessly lost in and of themselves and offers hope if you come to it with nothing but your need.

Well, what do we do with all of this?
I long for the gathering to be a community.. imperfect and messy as it is.
A place to belong.
A place to process your story in relative safety.
A place to wrestle with the pressing questions of life without feeling like you're being indoctrinated.
A place to find love, friendship and truth.

That can only happen when we hate our own sin worse than we hate everyone else's,
when we make a commitment to belong and to serve, not to just be entertained,
when we ask God for the grace to see the same potential in others that He was able to see in us.

will you join me in this journey?

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Matt,

I'm very new to the Gathering, but I just wanted to say that I'm excited about what you're doing there and about becoming part of the community everyone is creating. Having the opportunity to attend Gathering on sundays is a huge blessing in my life right now. Community of believers is something I've been severely lacking. God is in this place, and His beautiful hands are working. Thank you for the encouragement that the Gathering offers.

Evie

Anonymous said...

Evie, thank you for your kind comments.
I'd love to meet you next Sunday if I haven't already. Please introduce yourself if you are around. Kindest Regards, Matt B.

roy said...

good blog. many companies are creating a path to least resistance when making purchases. This is not all together bad, we (gathering) are using web, email, other stuff to ideally move people from virtual community to real community.

But in general the "extensions" ("advancement" in the area of technology and mediums for communication) amputate others (knowing the bank teller, etc). We as a society focus on extensions rather than the amputations, and buy in to the latest "extension" and then realize 20 years later what led to a general shift in society and ask "why are kids the way they are now-a-days?"

"The philosophy in the school room in one generation is the government in the next." -Abe Lincoln