poopie play-dough and growing spiritually

It was something of a traumatic experience, mind you. Here's the scene: it was about 20 minutes before the last 'home gathering' started. Chrissy and I had been feverishly trying to get our house into some symbolence of order and it was time to wake up our two year old, Anabelle, from her nap.
As the door to her room swung open I was greeted with an invisisble fist.. or at least that what it felt like. The offactory lobe of my brain screamed out in revultion, my sense of smell was seared with a mix of the obnoxious odor of methane gas and general 'uck'. It seems that possilby 10 minutes into Anabelle's 3 hour nap she had 'poopied' in her pants. That was bad enough, but there was more.
She had apparently become facinated with her ability to make what she referred to as 'poopie play dough'. I know this is gross, but, over the course of her nap time-- when she should have been sleeping-- she pulled her poop out and began to fashion 'play-dough' like scuptures and to fingerpaint with her newfound artistic median.
Wow. What a mess. What a smell. Oh, my, its in her hair and all over her 'blankie' and between her fingernails. Oh wow, its 15 minutes before people begin to arrive.
Perhaps the toughest part of the whole situation is how well she'd been doing with her potty training. She had learned what to do, how to do it, and where to do it. She was a marvelous example of potty-training prowess. I mean she had skills!
And now, this. :(
Well, the home gathering turned out just fine and, after enough chemicals were applied to Anabelle's room the stinch subsided to tolerable levels.. and, of course, thankfully, skin IS washable.
Ok, what's my point (other than to gross you out!!)?

It reminds me of what spiritual growth can be like. We too can make big messes, sometimes at inconvinent times and in inconvient ways and sometimes on the heels of some great stride forward or victory.
I used to think that spiritual growth was a pretty straight-forward proposition: you pray, read the Bible, share your faith with others and, wa-la, you are a mature believer. Well, its true that spiritual growth does take place through all of the above, but its rarely the linearly upward well-paved path into ever growing episodes of triuphant victory that I once thought it would be. In fact, it sometimes seems as though for every victory I have, I end up taking two steps backwards in another area.
God has his own plan to grow us up. When God's children prosper one way, they are generally tried in another for few of us can bear unmingled prosperity without forgetting the Gospel.
Have you discovered some previously unconsidered area of filth in your soul? Have you run back to some habit or hangup that has ended up robbing you of your dignity? I'm thankful that we can bring our 'poopie play dough' to our Heavenly Father who will, in the Name and on the Merit of our Savior Jesus Christ, wipe us clean and give us another chance. Real growth is rarely easy, but it is, in Christ, a promise (see Phil. 1.6). Real people are messy. Maniquines are sanitary. There is no such thing as mess free ministry in the lives of real people. God is about making a core-level difference in real people, not just changing the window dressings without messing with the ultimate trajectory of your life. May you re-commit to take your messes to the only one who can clean them up.
Sola Deo Gloria
matt b.

Sea Foam Threes and The Joys of Expiation

This week I decided that I have a neurological condition known as synesthesia. Perhaps I am wrong. It is likely that I will never find out. There is a long history of self-diagnoses in my family. When we Moores lock onto something, we rarely feel the need for confirmation or rebuttal from experts. In fact, after reading a few paragraphs we are usually quite certain that we ARE the experts! Perhaps you’re not as quirky as me. . .
By the way, synesthesia is a condition in which two unrelated sensations are coupled in a person’s mind (www.mit.edu/synesthesia). It takes many different forms. Often, people involuntarily see (or relate) certain colors to certain numbers, months, letters or words. There are various instances in my life. I always see the calendar in a circle, with varying shades of green for spring, blue for winter, yellow for summer and reddish orange for autumn. The calendar is counter-clockwise and spins to a specific date if I’m speaking about that date, (I thought you might need some detail to prove that I’m not making it up). A friend of mine relates personalities to numbers. He hated certain numbers while doing arithmetic as a child. I never even realized that it might be abnormal until recently.
The point of this blog is not really some obscure mental condition. There is a correlation in all our lives, I think. My point is that our minds are powerful and that our interactions with this world are not merely interactions with this world. Every morning you shower (hopefully). You step into the tub, turn the handles and adjust the temperature, until you have the perfect ratio for comfortability. We have this issue at our house with extremely hot water. It’s a little scary sometimes! It’s similar to my Grandmother’s old house. The water used to sporadically spurt from the faucet. It was so difficult to get it just right! It was always a little too hot. We lived with my “Grandmama” when I was in second grade. It was an odd period of my life when my family was moving back to West Virginia from the northern Virginia suburbs of D.C. Every morning as I adjust the temperature in the shower, I am in my grandmother’s tub. I see her house. I smell her house. I can almost hear her around the corner, just beyond the bathroom door, singing. Every morning, if the water is hot enough, I not only experience that, but also things from 20 years in the past. Every day, in a sort of “synesthetic” flash, I interact with myself as the awkward kid who didn’t get the jokes or the invitations; the kid who just wanted people to like him. Everyday. . .
I recognize that my imagination might be a bit more vivid than the Average Joe. But I’d wager that your story isn’t all that different from mine. I’ll bet that you not only confront traffic, bills, and coworkers everyday; but you also come face to face with little moments from your history every single day. Maybe they are funny moments, like hearing a loved one singing off key in the next room. Perhaps the moments are less pleasant and seem more like demons. Maybe every time you grab coffee or smile at a stranger something drags you down. For whatever reason, those are often the sorts of images that actually stick with us. All seems well, but in a moment you are brutally reminded of your extreme inadequacy because of a mistake or victimization.
I think those moments are likely all over all our lives. If not, it is merely because you have yet to be humbled. It will come. Praise God that it does! If it weren’t for these moments, I’m not sure that we would ever grow. See, I think God desires me to experience “Spiritual Synesthesia” (yes that is an awfully cheesy way to say it). I think he desires the interactions of my life to immediately conjure images of Christ Jesus, the cross and the mercy and grace given to me! He desires that my self-doubt be met with His power, and my foolishness with His wisdom. Yet, the Truth often flies far below my radar!
So I’m thankful that I encounter an almost paralyzing moment of self-doubt everyday. I’m thankful that I have to address difficulty everyday. I’m thankful that He allows my flashbacks and freak-outs in order that Christ Jesus might be the only one I can cling to, lean on, hope in, trust in and abide in. One day He will perfect and glorify me and the freak-outs will be over. Until that day, my involuntary memories and sensations must be met with the Truth, the Gospel, the good news that I belong to Him and He belongs to me. We will find that Truth by interacting with God, His word and His people. People of God, it is of the utmost importance that you preach the good news to one another. For no matter what hellish images you may involuntarily conjure throughout your day, this good news is the power of God and the fragrance of life to those who are being saved! Every disgusting deed of your existence was poured out onto Jesus, and it was crucified with Him, once for all. Only in this gospel do you find truth like this! Only in this gospel is there true motivation! Only in this gospel is there strength and power to confront the flashbacks and freak-outs. My friends let us trust only in this gospel!

beyond me

the philosopher and the scientist will admit that there is much they do not know; but that is quite another thing from admitting that there is something which they can never know, which indeed they have no technique for discovering. To admit that there is One who lies beyond us, who exists outside all of our categories, who will not be dismissed with a name, who will not appear before the bar of our reason, nor submit to our curious inquiries: this requires a great deal of humility, more than most of us possess, so we save face by thinking God down to our level, or at least down to where we can manage him. Yet how he eludes us - aw tozer

I don't so much admit I have no clue what's going on. It's not attractive nor a quality of a "good leader" to be clueless. I find Him often outside the category of logical or rational.

My wrestling lately has been with Ephesians 2.
The fact the He lay outside my faculty, my control - yeesh, talk about uncomfortable. "I'm male, hear me roar," has been more like "hear me whimper" as of late. Ephesians 2 always wins and I don't have it all figured out and that makes me feel panicked given all the implications it carries with it. You mean getting a degree, working hard, making "right" choices won't do it - won't lay out the red carpet.
But then it set's in, the truth of Ephesians 2. The release of pressure from having to do it all. From having to save the day, from being the epicenter of the story. Not having all the answers, I can be messy, what a relief.

I like our group of people around Perimeter bc by and large we're not all that "put together." Some of us seem it at first, but have a cup of coffee with us and you find that we are just as messy as you, as everyone really.

Eddie's
Don't forget Evan and Garrett's show at Eddie's attic. See the CAL for more details.